He's so soft, like a towel

If gay people don’t use the phrase “I cant think straight around you” as a pick up line. I feel like we have missed a genuinely great opportunity.

(via musicallyinvolved)

Source: drfrederickchilton

snorlaxatives:

i can’t wait till i’m 30 so i’ll finally look like a high school student according to movies

(via musicallyinvolved)

Source: snorlaxatives

oldprickbitches:

Omfg I was sitting in a room with a bunch of my aunts, uncles and cousins and my grandma had this weird smile on her face so I asked her what was up and she just looked at me and said “everyone in this house is alive thanks to my vagina”

(via musicallyinvolved)

Source: oldprickbitches

justdilla:

ajmonte:

byrongraffiti:

If attending a Beyonce concert and she puts the mic to you, you better do exactly what the fuck he did in this video.

That’s wassup dude.

Does anyone remember this, though? LOL

(via megkulk24)

Source: ByronGraffiti

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awidesetvagina:

this is still the best story ever told at a talk show

(via deltacello)

Source: awidesetvagina

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death-by-lulz:

tamouraka:

I TRIED TO CLOSE SKYPE BUT THEN SOMETHING HAPPENED AND

Source: tamouraka

psyducked:

I wish there were necklaces given to us at birth that were half of a unique shape and your soulmate wore the other half and they got warmer the closer together you were and colder the further away you were so you could go on this journey when you’re ready to find your other half so that you could be spared all the pain and heartbreak of being played with by those who don’t take dating as seriously as you do

(via coshitte)

Source: psyducked